The Boy Is Mine - A Destiel OneShot
by phoenixiniquity
Summary: The Winchester brothers, along with their tag-a-long angel Castiel, just need a few drinks to relax after their latest trip. When a woman in the bar shows interest in Castiel, though, drunk and jealous boyfriend Dean gets a little possessive - accidentally spilling the beans to Sam in the process. (Funny drabble I thought up on a whim. Enjoy! Rated T for language, alcohol.)


**[In which Drunk!Dean confronts a woman trying to "push all up on his man", sorta outing them? Okay, really outing them. Ahaha don't ask me where this shit comes from.]**

It was as typical a night as any; the three men, on a small break from their hectic "careers" decided to stop in at a local bar for a few beers. It wasn't a terribly crowded place, though it was small. The way Dean Winchester saw it, if they served alcohol, it didn't matter. His brother Sam only wanted to unwind a little, so he wasn't too picky, and the angel Castiel was pretty much grateful just to tag along. After all, Cas did have a tendency to be a bit...socially awkward.

The three of them lingered at the bar for a bit, chatting about the events of the past few days, taking special care to keep their voices down. In their line of work, it was best if strangers didn't accidentally overhear too much. Sam sat to the right, arms on the bar, leaning forward just enough that the other two could make eye contact. Dean tilted back in the tall chair, his face visibly softened and confident after the first few beers. Cas, to his left, seemed to inch closer to Dean with every few minutes' passing, his coat now tossed haphazardly over the back of his seat. Sam noticed this proximity, cocking an eyebrow as he assessed the situation, but decided to let it go.

Eventually, the younger brother shuffled off to hustle a few games of pool, inadvertently causing Dean to follow begrudgingly behind him for assistance. Castiel didn't mind so much; though he knew it was wrong, he found it rather entertaining the way they cooperated so well to dupe the innocent patrons out of their money. He stared admiringly at the way Dean leaned over the game table, raising his voice a bit too loud due to the alcohol. The angel smiled to himself as he recalled the words the man had whispered to him mere hours ago, and pondered how such a palliative voice could also be so harsh.

His thoughts were interrupted by the voice of a female, coming from his right. He turned to refocus his attention, setting his eyes on the small blonde woman next to him. "I'm sorry, miss, were you saying something to me?" He blinked, a polite smile on his lips. She nodded, albeit a little sloppily, and repeated herself. "Yeah, I said 'you're cute, let me buy you a drink'."

Castiel furrowed his brow and looked down at the nearly full bottle in his hand before fixing his gaze back on the woman. "I...already have a drink." He stated matter-of-factly. Then, realizing her apparent disappointment, he added. "But I do appreciate the gesture. If you're looking to make small talk, then I suppose I am available for that."

Across the room, Dean was definitely beginning to feel the effects of his fifth - or was it his sixth? - beer. He grinned more than he should as Sam counted the money they'd just scored, and glanced around the bar. He took another long swig from the glass bottle; thankfully, he'd swallowed it just before he choked, enraged at the scene before him. Still parked in his chair at the bar, Cas was staring lazily off into the distance as some blonde bimbo practically fell all over him. Dean felt his face go hot with rage, his emotions unchecked due to intoxication.

Sam pocketed their cash and looked suspiciously at his brother, trying to see whatever it was that had him visibly upset. He followed Dean's gaze and spotted the woman chatting up Cas at the bar. It took him a moment to understand, but once he got it, he nearly had to hold his breath to keep from laughing - Dean was jealous. Not over the woman, either, but over his little angel Castiel. "Dude, you alright?" He snickered, feeling a little tipsy as well.

Dean nearly went numb, glaring back at Sam for a fleeting second before slamming his beer down on the pool table. "Gimme a second." He half-demanded before starting off toward the bar, his gait indicative of his rage. As he arrived at Cas' side, the man's green eyes locked hatefully on the drunken woman. "Hi." He said, a false politeness to his voice. "Can we help you?"

Castiel glanced up, snapped out of his bored trance by Dean's voice. At first, he smiled, glad to be back at his side, but when he saw the irritation behind his grinning mask, Cas' stomach bottomed out. "Dean, h-hi!" He stuttered uncharacteristically.

Dean ignored him, laser-focused on the woman as she spoke. "Hey there." She slurred. "I was just talking to your cute friend - "

"Right." Dean cut her off. "Listen, lady. Let me tell you some things about my 'friend' here, okay?"

Cas could feel his heart rate skyrocket. He didn't understand why Dean was angry, but he knew it was bad - and that he was about to be really, _really_ embarrassed. "Dean, please do not - "

"Oh, I'm gonna!" He spat, never taking his eyes off the stranger. "First of all, this man right here? Castiel? He wouldn't go for a little tart like yourself. And do you wanna know why? Because he's a freakin' angel." Dean blurted before he could stop himself. "Yeah, I'm talking wings, sent from heaven, robbed a guy of his body - "

At that moment, Sam arrived and intervened. "Dean! Don't you think maybe this is getting a _little_ out of hand?" He asked, much to Castiel's relief.

That didn't stop him, though. Not entirely, at least. "Fine, drop that. Just so you know, sister, if you're gonna flirt anyway, you need to spell it out. He's basically socially inept."

Cas pouted. "Dean, that is not very - "

"Oh, I didn't mean it that way, Cassy, it's just a fact. I would know." He retorted, ignoring the two men and continuing his tirade. "Let me let you in on a few secrets here, Pamela Anderson. This guy is a garbage disposal for burgers. He'll keep eating them until he dies if you let him."

Cas shook his head. "Dean, that was one ti - "

"Oh, bullshit." Dean continued. "Also, blondie, you should know that he's insanely grumpy in the mornings. Pretty weird for a guy that doesn't sleep, but he literally won't say a word to anyone before 9AM unless he's had at least three cups of coffee. Not. A. Word." His green eyes never left the nearly terrified woman's face.

Sam had given up all hope of trying to stop him, and resolved to enjoy the show.

"Also, he wears these same freakin' clothes all the time. Seriously, what's with the trench coat?"

"Actually, Dean, it's an overcoat..."

"Actually, no one cares." He snapped back, now in full rant mode. "Oh, and something else, Barbie? It really bugs him if you name-drop the man upstairs while you're boning."

"Dean!" Cas shouted now, his face growing hot.

Sam nearly dropped his beer. "Holy shit..." He choked out.

Dean resumed, a smug look on his face. "To me, 'Oh, God!' is an appropriate response, especially when it comes to him, but he _hates_ it. Sister, you should see the way his face scrunches up like he just swallowed a whole lemon. It's adorable really, even if it is kind of a cockblock."

Castiel nearly fainted. "Dean...why..." He breathed, defeated.

The woman seemed instantly sobered, and stood up out of her seat authoritatively. "Listen, you scumbag, I don't know who you think you are, but - "

"Oh, sweetheart. I'll tell you exactly who I am: I'm Dean fucking Winchester. And the last thing you need to know about Castiel here? He's _mine_. So back the hell off."

The blonde scoffed and stormed off, muttering hateful things under her breath, leaving the three of them at the bar with several patrons staring intensely.

Dean waved her away sarcastically, then turned to face his brother and newly-outed boyfriend. "I think it's time to leave, don't you?" he asked rhetorically, grabbing Cas by the hand, snatching the brown coat off of the bar stool, and dragging the brunette toward the door.

The angel, despite his embarrassment, grinned from ear to ear as he intertwined his fingers with Dean's.

Sam, unable to control his laughter, dropped some cash on the bar and followed them toward the Impala.

 **[Ta da! There's my stupid little drabble. lol. Sorry it's so dialogue-heavy at the end here, but it had to be. This idea popped into my head randomly while I was working and I just had to get it out. Hope it was enjoyable!]**


End file.
